Any Other Way
by Couture Girl
Summary: They didn't know any other way to love each other, it was cruel, painful, beautiful, hopeful and life-threatning.


**AN: This one-shot was written for the luna_romance 2012 fest over at Livejournal. Revels are out and I'm allowed to post this in here. And I want to thank Gamma Orionis for hosting it. I had so much fun with prompting, claiming, writing and R&R the entried, it was my first fest and it had to be Luna of course! I can't wait for next year! Here is the prompt I claimed:**

**Prompt: RUNAWAYS by The Killers / Pairing: Theodore/Luna / Additional notes/ideas: Drama, Angst, Romance**

**Disclaimer: Harry Potter and all related characters and situations are the property of JK Rowling, RUNAWAYS belongs to The Killers, I just use them all and combine them to create the wonderful Tuna pairing!**

**Also want to thank Sara Darkotter for beta-ing this and helping me with the title and summary.**

**Oh and I'll upload the banner Gamma did, it's so pretty n_n**

**Enjoy!**

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He had always loved Brighton, not only because when his mother was still alive his parents and him would spend the summer there. But because he would always see a small girl that reached his waist, she was just too small, looked too fragile, like a porcelain doll that he would take care for the rest of his life. Her soft blonde hair smelled like his Mother's cinnamon tea, it reminded him of the sun, that was always warm. And her wide dreamy blue eyes looked like the ocean he would splash and play with her. Theodore especially loved her distracted smile that would be directed his way. It made him feel special and that she was his only friend.

Luna. That was her name, and it did fit her, she was the moon in person, pale colors expect for her hair and bright eyes.

Unfortunately after his father killed his mother, Theodore stopped going to Brighton and stopped seeing small Luna. And the tortures that his father would give him made him forget about that dreamy girl that would smile to him. There were moments when he was locked up in the dungeons that he would dream about the ocean and he would be splashing water playing and laughing with a petite blonde girl that made him feel warm, telling him that he wasn't alone. It hurt to wake up from those dreams.

...

After he had received the Dark Mark in the summer that Lord Voldemort returned he had gone to Brighton. He wondered, he hoped that she would be there. To prove to himself that there was still innocence and goodness in this horrible and dark world that he lived in. His green eyes took her in, still petite, she now reached his chest. Her blonde hair that reminded him of the sun was blowing in the summer wind, and even though Theodore could walk without being heard, her blue dreamy eyes looked up at him, a distracted smile on her face.

The moon reflected her pale skin as she played in the sand. Her dainty hand reached for his, taking it he couldn't help but compare it with his. Theo's hand was scarred, bony and cold. While Luna's was warm, elegant and small. A child's hand. She was innocent even in her physical features. Fear that he would corrupt her rushed through his body, but his selfishness beat him, it always did. Even more so now that he had obtained his dark personality that came with the Dark Mark.

As he kneeled next to her, and her fingers pulled his sleeve, she gasped at seeing the Dark Mark on his left forearm, adorned with scars of tortures of his childhood. She knew this would happen sooner or later, she couldn't have stopped him, it was something that was out her and his hands. Something that she knew Fate was behind this. Luna didn't accept it but she understood it. Besides her love for Theodore would forever be alive and the Dark Mark, his father or hers, or even the war that she knew would soon come could not make her stop loving him.

But it didn't make it less painful that her Theodore was changing even if he had done it out of protection for the both of them. Her blue dreamy eyes welled up with tears, and as she held his hand she cried into his chest. Luna cried for the loss of the small innocence he had left, that was now gone, taken away by that cruel man that Theodore called Lord. Theo just held her tight, not shedding a tear. He hadn't cried since his Mother had died when he was seven. He had to be strong for both of them.

...

They were just teenagers, both too young to be living in a time of war. Too young to even know how to love each other like they did. Too young to choose a side and know that either way they'd die. But it was their reality and they accepted it, even if it would be surreal to someone else, for them it was the most normal, the most dangerous and precious thing they had.

Laying in a clearing of the Forbidden Forest, their hands touching each other like if it would be the last time they'd ever be together like this. Just holding and loving each other. The quirky couple took it with so much happiness. Gazing up at the stars and moon, it looked tranquil, like a war wasn't occurring. It was just a normal night in the world.

They knew they didn't have much time to expand their love like any normal couple. They were menaced with wands and daggers. A wrong move and both would pay the price. But Luna, she was always the optimistic one, the light and hope in the strange relationship.

"We got time do anything we please." She whispered airily in his ear, fingers tracing a new scar he had acquired on his face. Luna and him wanted to delay the moment when something bad happened that would make them fall apart. They didn't want the day to end, in fear that when the sunrise appeared one of them would not be there. But they were so caught up in their love, in the danger they were living, the thrill of being caught in the shadows that they hide. But they didn't have much time, something very terrible was looming over them, threatening to break them apart.

...

Theodore had tried to forget what Luna and he had, but he couldn't. It was something that he couldn't control, his love for her was already installed inside him, his love was automatic, an instinct, like breathing. He couldn't stop himself from loving her. Besides his selfishness would win, he couldn't deny himself nor her that he loved her.

His dark personality was eating him up, but even Nott, the sadistic side of him didn't like having Luna all to Potter. Theodore started to detest Potter, understanding why Draco disliked him so much. Potter took things. And Potter was taking his Luna away from him. Potter was risking Luna's life, at least Theodore had chosen to be a Death Eater to keep her safe and alive. Potter had only made Theodore's hard work and tortures be for nothing as the Dark Lord decided that Luna Lovegood. His Luna Lovegood was no longer someone to be protected by his Death Eaters, she was now an enemy.

...

He had failed her and himself.

Theodore had promised that Luna would not suffer from his Lord, that him being a Death Eater would be reason enough to have her safe, but he didn't count on his quirky lover befriending the half blood of Potter. Why was she so nice? Moments like this he despised and loved it so much. As he desperately apparated to his godparent's Manor, he shivered, ever since the Dark Lord had occupied Malfoy Manor, his godparent's home had turned cold like his Manor's dungeons.

Thinking about the dungeons made him shiver even more. Not because that had been place of his childhood tortures but that his Luna was in the dungeons of Malfoy Manor.

He had broken his promise, she was hurt, his green eyes took her in and he hated himself even more. It was bad enough that he loved her, someone so cruel loved someone that was so innocent, and she loved him back. And his selfishness didn't let her go. Didn't set her free, and he hated himself even more as the Dark Lord ordered him to Crucio her.

One could never deny an order from the Dark Lord.

...

"Let's run away." She whispered in his ear. He was sitting next to her in the dungeon cell that she was locked in. Theodore had sneaked in food and a cup of water, making sure to bring chocolate pudding, knowing it would make her smile.

Luna gave the food and water to Mr. Ollivander as well as the pudding, shocking him for a moment.

She was just too good for him.

His fingers were in her hair, and he was too selfish, too scared and too weak. He didn't want to run away, he could see Luna all day, while she was in this horrid cell being hurt and if they ran away, the Dark Lord would get them and not kill them, he would make Theodore torture Luna until she was to the point of dying and then his Lord would vanish her with some other Death Eater that would make him go crazy. Death was too much of a blessing, even he knew that know. His father in a way had saved his mother...

Theodore didn't want that for Luna even if she was living the life that his mother had when he was a child. He was a weak, scared and selfish young man.

Right now, Luna was alive and at his side, and in his sick twisted mind that was all that mattered.

...

Theodore didn't regret his decision as the Dark Lord Crucio'd him.

He would do it again, if Potter came again. If time repeated itself, he would help Potter and his friends escape, giving them Luna, so she could be safe and alive. Theodore had helped Potter and his sidekicks escape, he hadn't done it because he thought it was the right thing to do to help them. No. It was because the small piece of goodness in him had beat his selfishness and wanted Luna to be alive and far away from him. He was just too corrupted for her.

He didn't even regret his decision in saving Luna as his Lord cast a memory charm that made him replay the death of his mother, he revived the memory over and over. And still he hadn't regret it.

...

Jinxes, Hexes and even Dark Spells were being cast from both parties. Adults, teenagers and a few children fought. For a moment Theodore questioned why this bloody war had started, why had his Father had become a Death Eater. Why couldn't his Lord had died, why had he met Luna? But he wouldn't change his fate. Somehow all those events had made, sad and happy events had made Theodore know Luna, with Luna he had experienced love, fear, gratitude, and tears. He had felt many emotions with his quirky lover and he wouldn't change any events that had occurred, because he would want to know Luna Lovegood.

And repeat all those obstacles that Fate had given them as well as the gifts.

Finding her was the only option now for him. Green eyes took in the scene, his home was being destroyed and it broke his heart but he had to find his Luna, he needed to know that she was alive, that their baby that was inside her was alive. Red, green and purple sparks flew in front of him, not touching him as he looked for Luna. He ran as he hexed a few Death Eaters, no one even noticed. And he felt weight being taken away from his shoulders as he saw her blonde hair, the sun, hope.

Theodore felt alive once again, his heart beating as his arms wrapped around her petite form. He couldn't stop himself from kissing her as they entered a deserted classroom. Her lips felt a bit ruff now, but they tasted the same, cinnamon and she was still warm. Theo didn't know if his side would win or hers. Both were either strong one day and the other weak. But he had to keep her by his side now, either way, he had to have her, if his side won or lost. He couldn't let her go, not ever, not again. He would go ballistic if he did.

Kneeling down, his hands touched the small bump, it was unnoticeable by many. Maybe Potter knew, and he thought she was still alive because Luna was his friend, he wasn't doing it for him-the Death Eater boyfriend of his friend.

"I swear that I'll take care of you and our son. I can't bear to let you go, let you run away from me. You're my air, Luna, my water. I love you." He said to his strange lover.

...

They had made the decision that if Luna's side won, she would ask for Potter's help. After all, if it hadn't been for what Theodore did in Malfoy Manor, Potter would be dead. Potter owed him and Slytherins never forgot a debt.

If his side won, Luna wouldn't be in danger. Being the wife of a Death Eater was much more powerful than being the friend of his Lord's enemy. She would be untouchable, she and their son.

...

Potter won.

Theodore was kept alive but he was sent to Azkaban for a year for being a Death Eater.

Potter had somehow disappeared the evidence of Theodore having tortured countless muggles and halfbloods, killed Igor Karkaroff and a muggle girl that looked_ too_ much like his Luna.

He was alive, paying for his decision on keeping Luna safe. And that year was a personal hell for him. The Dementors liked to replay his dark memories of his childhood. Repeating memories of when his Father would beat and hex him, when his Father had killed his young mother in front of his eyes. It was all horrible but more so when Luna wasn't allowed to visit, he didn't see his son's birth.

Theodore was alone with his fragile mind for a whole year, he sometimes thought it would have been best if the Dark Lord would have won. At least then he would have had Luna and his son by his side. Theo wouldn't have minded if he had to exterminate more muggles and blood traitors and torture halfbloods, he would have done just to have his family safe and sound.

...

Luna knew that Theodore was still traumatized even more when he left Azkaban. It was like he was skeleton, just with thin skin covering his bones. His eyes were different as they looked at her, they still held love but there was something else, something dark. His touch was the same as well as his lips. Her Theodore was changed and she feared he wouldn't be her Theodore.

But Luna had hope, and she knew that she could help him be the Theodore he was always meant to be.

...

He had told her that he still couldn't control his dark personality-the one that came with the Dark Mark. Although the Dark Lord had fallen, Nott, the sadistic side of him had stayed to torment him. That he would slip once in a while but that he would not harm her or their children. He would leave before that happened.

Theodore told Luna that he couldn't have helped it, it was in his blood as well. He was his Father's son. Theo had become like his Father and the last thing he wanted was to hurt Luna like his Father had done to his mother.

It was getting worse.

Theo would drink and smoke in his office, locked up not letting anyone enter not even Luna, least of all Luna.

Thoughts of letting Luna and their small children go often came but he couldn't. Luna, was his everything and he could't let her go.

His selfishness would win once again.

...

It was horrible.

Theodore and Luna knew that happy endings didn't exist but they hoped that after what they had lived, that they would at least live peacefully.

They would fight. Well Theodore would yell and Luna would just look at him with sad and dreamy eyes. Their two year old son and baby wouldn't hear a noise, a Silencing Spell would be cast and before he would lay a hand on her he would apparate leaving them for hours, coming late at night.

Walking in the deserted corridors of their home, shaking from head to toe, suit smelling of smoke, breath of firewhiskey, his hands would help him as he leaned against the wall, heading to his room.

It was all his fault, it was Nott's fault. Before the Dark Mark they would lay together in the clearing of the Forbidden Forest and look up at the stars, hands making them fall even more in love, lips kissing each other as they confessed each other secrets.

Now there were rare, those moments would happen sporadically.

As he stumbled he past the room of his oldest son, opening the door, his drunken green eyes took in two year boy, hugging tightly the Crumple Horned Snorcack it made his chest hurt, he was like his Father, blinded by his anger he didn't get to experience his son's life. One day, if he hadn't already, Lorcan would hate him like he hated his father. Closing the door he continued to stumble, stopping as his scarred hand turned the door knob where Luna laid, waiting for him like always.

Her blue dreamy eyes were the first thing that he saw, she would always be awake waiting for him. Ashamed he looked away and caught the photo of their wedding day, in a fancy white gold frame. They looked happy and in love as they smiled at each other and kissing. It hurt to look at it now.

Their wedding had been before he had went to Azkaban, before everything crashed and burned.

Theodore didn't even recognize himself, in the photo he still retained a bit of innocence and goodness-now it was all lost.

Luna was the same, except in the eyes, they would look sad now. But he couldn't let her go, couldn't let her runaway.

"Theodore."

Looking up he couldn't settle in here, he couldn't. Taking out his wand he apparated.

...

They couldn't leave each other. Both were so caught up in that love that they had found so many years ago, in that acceptance and trust that they only had for each other that it would be impossible to leave each other. They were their breath and water, their warmth and other half. They could survive but they couldn't be able to live. It was a destructive and addictive cycle that Theodore and Luna would continue until their dying breath because they didn't know any other way.

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**AN: Please review on your thoughts! Remember if you favorite a review is always nice!**


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